Kiss me goodbye
by rockchich
Summary: the story line is Bella has a secret hidden from edward and jacob, but is told when edward gets worried. What will edward and jacob do ?
1. prologue

"Bella...Bella" Edward's husky voice sent a shiver up the bridge of my spine as he shifted his weight between his light footsteps searching for me. I held my breath, pushing myself further into the smooth wooden floor, gazing through the small crack in the battered door. I watched him race past me, creating a red line of a blur.

"Bella Honey, where are you?" His voice softer than before, it was almost soothing. I rested my pounding head in between my skinny legs, trying to calm myself down. He will never forgive me; he will never trust me nor want me! What have I done...? My thoughts swirling around my head, and my stomach starting to create small knots.

"Bella I only want to talk, ok...it would be nice if you could tell me some things before you had a storm off"-Edward's voice was sharp and strong-"You know I'm worried about you, you won't talk to me, or let me hold you. You won't let me stay, or kiss you, you won't even let me say the words i love you...Bella please come out, I know your here, I can hear your pulse, and smell your fresh power of blood" His voice soon became a whisper, full of pain and hurt. I cringe as his words finally made sense, he knew I was hiding something, he knows I'm lying to his beautiful face. I am hurting him, killing him. I blew a small soft breath, as my heart ached for the agony that lies had caused.

Slipping my fingers through the crack, I pushed myself through the old door landing in his cold arms. It felt warm there with his arms curled around me, holding every inch of me in his strong arms. He tucked my long brown hair behind my ears and I gazed at him, the memories flashing at me. The memories were so powerful, that they almost felt real, like I was able to touch the smooth outline. **'** **"I love you" " Bella you are my life now" "So the lion fell in love with the lamb" "What a stupid Lamb" "What a sick, masochistic lion" "Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist!" "Your epiphany?" "You love me" "truly, I do" "I know who I can't live without" "Will marry me?"**'I smiled as the words echoed around in my mind. I glanced at the heavy ring that dazzled in the blue moonlight that peered through the dark shaded green curtains. Suddenly the smile was erased from my face and was replaced by overflowing tears.

"Bella please tell me what is going, I'm going crazy, I can't read your mind Alice can't see you, and I'm clueless... Bella please?" How can I tell him without his non-beating heart breaking? He will never forgive me. I was so stupid, that I couldn't see the damage I would do to him.

"Edward... don't be mad ok?" I whispered

"I won't I promise" his face became hard unreadable, as his words escaped his lips.

"When...when you left me, when you broke my heart into tiny pieces, I thought were unfixable, I became lonely, and lost. I ran to Jacob for help, for a way to detract my heart from the painful agony, and when I did... I...I felt so healthy, not quite fixed but enough to erase some the pain you left" my voice cracking in the silence of bleak night.

I carried on as Edward was unable to talk; he was stiff, staring not into my eyes but at the shadow on the bare floorboards.

"When you came back, I felt happier than ever, my body felt alive, my heart felt fixed, heavy, like it was never broken, and the missing pieces of me were never missing. You filled my heart, took all its space, but it somehow made room for Jacob too. I kept ignoring that part of me, trying to escape it, telling it, that it just belong to you...and then... then... he came to see me when you were hunting" – I swallowed hard trying to push the lump out of throat out, unsure to whether to carry on, as Edward's face was full of rage, pain, and hate-"He stayed the night, it felt right, at the time, but when the morning came, I regretted it. But every time you went on a hunting trip I felt lonely so I would call him. He would stay, every night till you came back, because I wouldn't let go. He came one night, we shared a moment of a kiss, and then it passed, until I kissed him again and I couldn't let go, I felt so guilty Edward that I couldn't stop"

"And then what?" he spits his words out through gritted teeth.

"We...we...shared...more...more than a kiss Edward...I'm Pregnant "


	2. You See Its No Dream

My eyes blinked open and was blinded by the dim sunlight that snuck around the pale yellow curtains. As I twisted over a throbbing pain was released in the arch of my back.

"Oh Edward I had this crazy dream last night... we were arguing- "

"Oh you weren't dreaming Bella" Edward voice was harsh as he cut me off in mid sentence. He was standing in the far corner, his muscular arms folded across his shirtless chest. His expression and body language clearly was unreadable when hidden in a gloomy shadow. His fists trembled as he gritted his teeth against each other.

"Edward...please forgive me" I whispered.

"FORGIVE YOU! Huh no chance Bella you took your luck to far. If I didn't love you as much as I do, then you would be dead, drowning in your own blood. Or maybe no blood cause I would in thirst of it. And I would have no hate of any regret because you would deserve it Bella... How could you look me in the eyes and tell me there is nothing going on? How was I so stupid, believing your lies... when you suck at lying!" he spat his words out with hurt and disgust

"Edward I never honestly meant to... you have to believe-"

"Oh Bella believe you!"- He paced out of the long shadow and placed his weight on to the edge of my purple bed, poking his faces in mine. I stared into his eyes and saw everything .His pain, the agony his heart was yearning and the regret of ever saving me, of ever loving me-" Bella how can I believe you, when you lied so much, I now can't tell what truth and what's not even though you are a terrible liar? God Bella, when I gave you that ring it meant i loved you, I wanted to be with you forever and always, I wanted to have you in my life until the day I die. Bella when I said I wanted your hand in marriage it was meant to be a promise and something never to be broken!"

I left of his gazed and retrieved mine to my left hand where a gold diamond ring dazzled and sparkled in the lowly lit room. It hurt peering down at the ring of promises, because I made promises and I made them to Edward and I broke them. Not only did I break the promises i broke his unbeating torn up heart into tiny pieces. I reached for his trembling hand but he pulled it away and tucked it under his arm pit.

"Edward I'm so sorry, I meant the promises I made, and I meant it when I sad I was all yours. I meant it Edward I really did!" My voice broke as a pool of water started to fill my deep sore eyes.

"But Bella you don't just belong to me do you? "

We sat still in silence accompanied by the unstable sound of my heavy heart beats pounding against my rib cage. My mouth hung open unable to speak, unable to clamp it shut, it just hung there. My thoughts swirled around in my mind, making my stomach ache as knots formed.

"That's what I thought! Does he know? "He whispered bitterly.

I rested there on the bed hanging on for words for his answer. I knew the answer, but I couldn't get the words to escape my pink lips. They trembled as my stomach pushed and pulled more knots, and I was soon racing to the bathroom. I lay on the warm bathroom floor, waiting for my Nausea symptoms to clear.

"Bella Honey, are you alright?" Charlie yelled up, from our noisy living room.

"Err yeah dad; I ate some bad chicken last night that's all. Who is here?"

"Ok Bells, just the Balck's the game is on"

Oh no here we go again. My head hung in the bowl of the toilet, as my stomach churned.

"Bells you sure your ok... I can hear you, you sound terrible" Charlie shouted but sounded a whisper an unsure whisper from the inside of the bathroom battered door.

"Yeah dad I'm sure it will pass over in the next few hours" I yell back with sure in my voice so Charlie would leave me alone.

I waited until I could hear his footsteps disappear into the rowdy background noise, and then headed back into my small room, with some hope that Edward would still be there. I released a breath I had been holding when I saw Edward standing there glaring out of my musky window.

"I take it he doesn't know then" Edward whispers his tone musical, something I had been fighting to hear since the moment my cold blooded secrets had been revealed.

"No he doesn't" I whisper back, ashamed of myself. Ashamed of ever laying a finger on Jacob, or even ever laying a chocolate brown eye on him, or ever having any kind of romantic thought of him. He was my best friend and he still is, but some one that I could never have, and would never share anything more than friendship.

"Well don't you think you should tell him? He has a right to know Bella "Edward's tone scoped back to bitter words.

"I know, but I can't bring myself to tell him because I don't want to believe it. I don't want this thing, this life this child inside of me to happen. Edward I love you, not Jacob" I whine, picking my feet of the ground and pacing towards him. I brushed my warm finger tips across Edwards's cool cheek, and then pressed my lips into the shape of his.

"I knew I could smell a bloodsucker in the house"


	3. The Ledge

September

October

November

December

I lay tucked under the dirty sheets of what seems to be my life support. I have become huge and lifeless like a balloon having a puncher and slowly deflating taking the air that helps it breathe. My eyes are like golf balls, white and puffy, and are still swelling as the water pools over the edge of the waterline.

"Bells honey, we have to go for your scan" Charlie shouted up making me jump and drop my only memory of the people I have lost. Yes, I have lost the two most special people to me and only gained this stupid thing inside of me. I recoiled into a tight ball as the memories hit me, piecing a hole through my aching heart.

_**"Bella are you Insane... it's not my child it's the dog's" **_

_**"Bella you can't take my child... my son or daughter away"**_

_**"Oh i didn't want any of this, Jacob! This child... is just a thing, a thing i never want I'm getting rid of it, if you just kept away non...NON of this would have ever happened"**_

_**"Oh yeah you were the one who was calling me Bella you came on to me, and wanted ,pleaded me to stay... you... and you bloodsucker you can go now... you have no right to be here, you don't even love her any more anyone can clearly see that"**_

_**"And you do, your thoughts are saying something else dog, maybe you should keep them away"**_

_**"GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU BLOODSUCKER"**_

_**"I will get out once you tell her"**_

_**"DONT YOU DARE"**_

_**"EDWARD NOOOO....STOPS PLEASE STOP"**_

The Screaming, screeching was soon drowned out by my sobs being muffled into the damp, filthy pillow. My last words twisted and turned in my mind, giving me migraines that clung to me, like a new born clings to its mother. I forced my stiff swollen body out of my bed knowing Charlie wasn't going to give up on the fact that I have to be out the door in less than 10 minute. He wasn't going to let this scan go as he needs to know that this "baby" was ok, still alive, and breathing. I wish it wasn't! And if he doesn't force me, he knows I won't go, i will just stay here all wrapped up in my guilt, and my black loneliness to care about this thing. Charlie says i should care. Why? I didn't agree to this term. I agreed to get this thing out of me! I shrieked for it to be torn out of me. But since The Cullen's are no longer in town after my outburst Charlie won't allow anyone else to touch me.

It's been months since I have last spoken to anyone. Not even Charlie. Not even Renee. Since the night my secrets came clear to, i tore hearts into tiny pieces and destroyed souls; I have glued my lips shut. Renee calls, I ignore them, and she came over just when my stomach had been replaced with a small bump that was visible. She tried for hours to make me speak, to get a sound out of me, but I just lay there like I wasn't even alive. The only word she would hear from me, was the slight whisper of Edward's name.

Edward where are you? I need you Edward, I love you, and I need you! My thoughts wondered in and out, as I tugged my black lace top on, that Alice had got me for Christmas last year. I stretched it making sure the bump was hidden, I hated the fact it was on show. As I yanked a pair of old sweats i peeked out of my dusty window. A ledge stood before me, calling me, wanting me.

"Come on Bella, we have to go, we will be late" Charlie yelled sounding angry.

I shifted the weight of the glass about trying to shift it open. Finally it opened and it gave me enough space to wedge my body through. I leapt on the stone cold ledge, balancing myself as i swayed in the rainy, fierce wind.

"Bella what are you doing?" Edward's musical voice appeared in view. (Something that soothed me, that made me forget everything and focus on his beauty.) The rush was back. His voice was in my head-again-and it was so clear, real that I just wished it was actually there in my ears saying the words I miss. I paced slowly towards the edge of the ledge, peering down. It wasn't far I could jump it. Escape this dark void and just die alone, like I have been wanting to for the last 4 months .My sore eye lids slid down, revealing Edward's face that was so beautiful, and eye catching. I gaped in a deep breath, I pushed myself forward, as Charlie's voice trailed behind me.


	4. You came back

A rush of adrenaline shot through me, the wind whipping my sore skin as my body falls quickly. Speeding through the air, the rain splashes on to the surface of my dry white skin, refreshing me giving me power. I stretched my bare foot out searching for some kind of surface to place it on, but as I searched I didn't find anything. All l found was thin windy air, which was beginning to race past me. My puffy eyes then suddenly darted open. He was here, cradling me, saving me.

"Bella are you insane" -He sounded hurt as he spoke-"you could have hurt yourself and..." he began to trail off. I didn't speak; I just lay in his arms. Happy to find myself there again, tightly moulded into his strong ice cold arms. We raced through the open but crowed forest. Tall dark trees branched out, looming over, twirling its long branches around each other. It was almost like they were hugging, like they were a family. Grey mist crawling through the different shaded green leaves, seeking a new life to hang onto. The darkness folds in, as the life around us grows into an unsolved mystery. I let my eyes fall shut, knowing I was safe as long as I was with him.

I was just daydreaming about how perfect life is when I'm with him, when I'm being held in his hands, and knowing the missing pieces are all there, tight in my chest, when we come to a halt. He stands me on unstable feet, gripping my lifeless face and gazes into my shallow brown eyes.

"You came back!" I cry out, scanning his perfect face. Dusky shadows hung under his pure black eyes, his mouth seemed dry, hungry, and his face was hard and unreadable.

"I never left you Bella. You hurt me yes, but I love you I have always and I always will. I never left you in the first place; I was just never in your view "his voice had a chime that made me smile.

"Edward I love you. I'm so sorry" my words barely came out as a whisper. I lurch myself forward gripping his stone white body, twisting my arms through his. He placed his large hand on my aching back pushing me closer into his suddenly warm chest. I rested my head and he placed his on top, after kissing my lightly on my fevered forehead.

"I know Bella, I'm sorry too"

"Edward your eyes, you're thirsty...why haven't you gone on a trip? There really dark, your eyes are pure black Edward" I said with worry in my voice.

"I haven't been able to leave you Bella. I have seen the hurt you have been pushing yourself into. It's almost as if my destruction of the last time I left was never fixed. Bella I have been craving for you, and haven't been able to leave your side because in 100 years I have been alive I have never felt more alive." He responded with a musical voice. I sank deeper in his muscular chest. His scent breathtaking, pure, and addictive, his breath warm, appealing, mouth watering and his face strong featured, admirable.

"What were you thinking Bella, jumping of that ledge? You know your athletic skills. You really could of injured yourself" He whispers so softly is creates butterflies in the bottom of my balloon stomach.

"I was thinking of escaping, go somewhere to die alone" I cringe away.

"And why would you try and kill yourself?" Edward became stiff, and shaky

"Because...I...I'm fat. I have Th-this... in me. Edward I'm...I'm... having a stu-stupid kid and I'm 18 plus in senior year..." I stutter pushing him away and poking to my over weight stomach.

"I can see that Bella, but it's something special, you should ta-"

"SPECIAL Edward it's not special unless it's yours... it's just a thing" I say through gritted teeth, cutting him off him mid sentence.

"Bella, you know we can never, so just accept it that's its special"

"No Edward because... because its bad memory, it's something I just wanna forget because Edward it's not yours, I wish it was but it's not." I whispered as I ran my finger through his elegant bronze locks twining it around my small pale finger.

"Does it really bother you Bella, that this child isn't mine. That's it the... dogs" His face screws up as the last word echoes through me, twisting in my mind.

"Yes Edward every inch of me is hurting with the fact this... Isn't yours. It's driving me crazy"

" do you really want rid Bella" -he questions me, as I bring myself closer to me-"Do you really want to destroy is life that your responsible for to be out of you" I flinch away.

"Yes I do Edward"

"Go home tell Charlie that you're going to see Carlisle, as he will be worried meaning Charlie not Carlisle-"

"What? Why?" I ask unsure what Edward meant.

"You want rid Bella right" He asks me again.

"Yes I do" I nod Unsure again.

"Then that's what we're going to do"


	5. Who's Are You Child?

"Oh Bella you look...wow Bella what have you done" Alice exclaims tugging on my light brown honey coated hair, Examining my massive belly.

"Err Alice I got pre-"

"Oh I know that Bella I mean you look paler than normal, your hair is dead and your eyes don't have that sparkle. You look so lifeless Bella" she cut me off sounding extremely worried. I sat still unsure what to say. How to tell her I tried to kill myself. Or did she already know? When I didn't respond she tugged harder on my lifeless split hair.

"So Bella?" she asked starting to get annoyed.

"Alice I ...I tried to kill myself" I responded with shame in my voice.

"Bella why? Are you trying to end your life early?" Her voice chimed with a sweet musical tone.

"Yes I did, I wasn't thinking" I lied

"You are such a bad liar Bella" She giggled lifting up and dragging me along. I was glad she let it go, laughed it off. Edward clasped my other hand that seemed to be shaking. I glimpsed up and caught Edwards's flawless smile glowing at me. I smiled back but I know it wasn't enough to sure he that I was ok. He squeezed my hand harder and pressed himself into me.

"I think I will go and see if Carlisle is ready" Alice murmured sounding anxious. She let go of my hand and Edward pulled me closer to him. He compressed his lips into the shape of mine. The force of was over powering, like the world would end in any second. I ran my fingers through his bronze hair grasping it in my hand. Our lips urged in rhythm and i soon become breathless. The lack of air sent my head spinning, it soon became too overwhelming. He released me, letting my lungs breathe.

"I can see I still make you go breathless" He chuckled displaying his perfect smile. I couldn't speak I was too hung up on his scent, his eyes, his body to respond. We stared into each other's eyes for a long moment before being interrupted by Alice.

"You two love birds come on, Carlisle is ready" Alice said sounding distant. I froze. I couldn't move my feet to walk. I just felt dizzy, sick, like I was about to faint.

"It's Ok Bella"- Edward sighed hugging me-"You don't have to if you don't want to. If it's not what you really want"

"No it is what I want. Let's go and get it over with" I muttered. He clenched my (again) shaking hand and led me up the long trail of stairs. It was still the same as I remembered it. The walls pure white, the windows towering with the sun blazing through the clear glass. The tree swaying in the back ground standing proud and tall full of life. Finally we reached Carlisle's office. It was the same as it had always been. The same walls, the same desk, same windows and the same paintings that spoke so many words, that told a life story.

"Are we ready then?" Carlisle asked clasping his hands together.

"Yes, I'm ready" I reply making sure I sounded positive. Carlisle settled me down on the lightly tanned operation desk, making sure I was comfy and certain that I was doing the right thing. Soft silk cushions created a warm pit for me; it almost felt like a bed. Carlisle started to unpack his silver tools he needed, and fixed his creamy white gloves on.

"Bella there is a few things we need to go through before we start "Carlisle announced.

"Ok what are they?" I replied.

"Bella I will have to put you to sleep, you will be asleep for some time, maybe for about 5 hours. You will also feel a bit weak and you will need to rest. Alice will ring Charlie later and tell him you're spending the night here, you can stay in Edward's room"-he paused making sure I was taking it all in-account-"You will also need to drink a lot of water and you cannot take any kind of medication for 24 hours. Have you taken this all in Bella? Edward?" He questioned us glaring between us.

"Yes we understand" I and Edward answered.

"Right are you comfy Bella? Fully relaxed?"

"Yes Carlisle I'm ready, fully relaxed and comfy"

"Then let's get to work "he declared. I embedded myself further in the cushions reassuring myself that I am actually fully prepared. Carlisle was fiddling around with his shiny tools (that created a gleam of white light) and Edward gently placed his hand over mine, pressing his alluring lips on my forehead.

"Right Bella you won't feel a thing ok" Carlisle said pulling out a thin needle. I gulped down the lump in my throat and let my eyes close. I squeezed Edward's hand wanting to never let go. My eyes fluttered open as I heard Alice shouting Edward's name. The noise the voice grew closer and closer until Alice pounded through the dark door.

"Don't Edward it's your Child"


	6. I Remember

"Alice I don't understand" Carlisle said with unconvinced in his voice as he rested the needle down on the polished desk top and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I've seen it Carlisle. I've seen it all" Alice sharply retorted.

"Seen what Alice?" Edward and Carlisle demanded their jaws tightening.

"Bella you are going to keep it! Just when Carlisle is about to pinch that needle through your skin"-i flinched away as she spoke-"you're going to scream to keep it. When the thin-Baby is born Jacob with ask for a DNA Test"-She paused to yank in a breath-"it will come back negative. He will ask for Edward to be DNA tested. It will come back positive. Edward it is YOUR child" She rushed her words creating moment of silence while it sank into out flesh to our veins, so it can be carried and taken in through our over flowed brains.

Minutes later I responded" Alice I really don't understand we-"

"We Never Alice "Me and Edward both defended.

"You did you just don't remember"

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

"The night you did it with the dog"-she winkled her nose in disgust-"It was the day the Volturi came to you both. To see if you had changed Bella, if you had kept your word. But Before then you two shared a romantic moment. It turned more romantic as Edward you began to tear Bella's outfit off. But was shortly rudely interrupted by the Volturi's thoughts. Aro had seen what you two had been up two and had seen that you two were more than the average couple. So he decided to clear your minds of the whole thing so you never remember any of this" Alice blurts out.

"Alice you can't see anything about me, how do you know any of this?" I requested.

"Aro had blocked any of my views from you and Edward .I only got a few for Edward.

That was then when it all came back. The streaming water bouncing off the blurry window behind the pale curtains creating a slight tap against the glass. Soft classical music playing in the background, the bed full of deep red rose petals that sent a fresh scent through the air in the small room that was dimly lit with candles. His naked body undesirable that I needed it that I craved for it, but as it touched my bare skin it sent a flame of fire through me. My body burned everywhere he touched. His lips brushed against my jaw line then dragged along my neck. My heart hammered rapidly against my rib cage, punching a hot fuse of blood through my tunnel of veins. His body was beyond perfect it was admirably gorgeous. He was sexy. He was hot. So hot he sent a blazing flare through me making me dizzy from the heat. As his hotness wasn't enough his kiss was just was blazing as his touch, as his scent, and his body. His lips danced with mine and grew in speed as the romance took over. His fingers press in the bridge of my back pushing me closer into the sculpture of his bare chest. Hugging his body tightly he pinned me against wall, his lips leaving mine and travelling back down my jaw line.

My thoughts were soon drowned out by the sound of Alice calling our name. No wait yelling our names.

"I remember" Both me and Edward whisper.

"Remember what?" Emmett Asks.

"Bella is having Edward's baby" Alice glows

"No way I thought it was the dog's?"

"Nope it's mine! It's ours" Edward buts in as he hugs his arms over me and skims his fingers over the bump.

"Yeah it's ours" I whisper as I smile a significant smile.

**  
January **

**February**

**March **

April

Life right now had never been better. I and Edward were soon going to be parents. Even though my mistake with Jacob had not been quite forgotten about, it was something that had made me and Edward stronger. Made us unbreakable!

Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed reading an old classical story as I lay tucked under the soft silk cover. His voice was so musical it was almost like listening to a song on my iPod, but more perfect than what is on there. He snapped the book shut as he notice my eyes were starting to close but fluttering open to glare at his strong featured face. Even though he promised he is never leaving me ever again (no matter what) I don't want to miss a thing because every moment i spend with him is like a book you never want to put down because it's so good, so hooking.

We snuggle down with the covers fixed around us, embedding us.

"I wonder if our baby will have just as strong features as you" I whispered as the night sky gleamed through the tall glass.

"You have strong features to Bella" He shot back

"I know but your features are beautiful perfect"

"Well we will have to wait and see wont we" He chuckled brushing his hand over the massive belly. We lay silently listening to the wind beating against the tall over lapping tree, and my heart pounding in my chest. I rested my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him. My eyes were slowly shutting and my mind was wondering into a dazzling dream, just when my breathing was becoming heavy and my throat became tight.

A sharp pain rushed through my body. It shot through me going through every tunnel of veins, through every nerve, like poison oozing through the blood cells corrupted them. The pain became unbearable agonising like several knifes being plunged through my flesh. I yelp a loud echoing pain that hit of every wall and bounced back to me. I clenched Edward's hand crushing it with my strength as the pain grew. Just when I was about to roll over to cramp myself into a tight ball a gush of water flowed out...


	7. Your On Your Way Little One

"EDWARD!" I Howled. The water flushed out of me splashing on to the faded floor boards.

"Bella its ok" Edward spoke calmly

"OK EDWARD? THERES WATER DRIPPING FROM ME" I barked.

"Bella it's ok because you're in labour"

"WHAT?" I exclaim. My hands fold around my stomach clenching it. The torture, pricking every nerve, twisted furiously. I felt shaky and I gripped the soft wood of the computer desk.

"Bella, Bella, Bella" Alice said hurriedly, waving her hand to grab my attention.

"Alice, Wh-what's going on, why a-am I-I in Pain?" I stuttered.

"Did you hear me Bella"- Edward swooped me up-"You're in L-A-B-O-U-R!" Edward and Alice both said slowly.

"You're going give birth Bella!" Edward whispered his breath cooling my warm neck.

My head spun as their words sank into my skin that was soaked with sweat. The words swirled around in my mind like mixing lumpy cake mixture; the spoon twisting it around smoothing it.

I let my eyes close as I focused on my breathing while Edward carried me up the several flights of glossy stairs. Every inch of my body ached as my oversized stomach began to grow thick with knife like pains. Edward's arms comforted me, soothed me; kept me calm. As my agonising body lay in his cold but warm arms I could feel we were at our destination. I could feel the heat washing over me; I could smell the strong bitter sweet antiseptics that took control of my mind, sending it in all directions. I opened my eyes to find myself out of Edward's hold and on the freshly new bed.

"Bella do you need a drink or anything" Esmee asked softly.

"No I just need something to BREAK" I yelled the last word. The pain was becoming unbearable.

"You're going to be ok Bella"-Carlisle began-"You just need to listen to me ok Bella" he asked.

"YES OK... JUST GIVE ME YOUR HAND EDWARD" I huffed. I yanked at his hand pushing my palms into his, twisting my fingers around his; squeezing tightly. His skin felt nice against my hot clammy flesh. It was cooling. I peeked up to gaze into his deep golden eyes, where I saw my reflection. I looked a mess and all sweaty like I had just ran a marathon. I twitched away as another blistering flame breathed fire through me.

I lay hopelessly on the comfy silk bedding. I focused again on my breathing. In and out I told myself. As I did so I couldn't help but sneak another look at Edward. He was in pain while watching me struggle. He hates to see me in agony. To see me burn. I gave him my small 'I'm ok smile', but I knew he wouldn't take it. Edward pressed his lips into mine and a short second later he was gone.

"Are you ready Bella?"

Before I could answer I was already spoken for.


	8. Renesmee

**A Message!  
**

**Hi! i would like to really thank every one who reads this. Im really happy you guys really enjoy this stoty and you guys who review me, and that keep this story going. **

**I have a new story which is all mine, my idea's and characters every thing in the story is mine. I would really like you guys to check it out and review it, to see if i should carry it on. It is called 'Deep Red Rose Tissue' it would mean a lot to me to review it ! **

**thanks  
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My eyes fluttered open as the sound of Edward's musical awoke me. Was I dreaming? Am I awake? I asked myself as I picked up my less heavy body weight of the toasty warm bed. As my eyes adjusted to the bright light I caught an outstanding body cradling a beautiful dark tinted brown haired girl.

"Morning Bella. Do you want to hold her?" a velvet voice spoke. I wasn't dreaming. It was all true.

"Yes I do, where's my Renesmee?" I answered my voice high with joy.

"She's here Bella!" He whispered as he turned. I spotted Renesmee different skin toned hand touching his marble beautiful face. He chuckled lightly as she removed her touch, and placed her arms out to reach me.

"What is she doing, to make you laugh" I said curious

"Take her, hold her and you will see how magic she is "He spoke so smoothly, but still chuckling to himself. I reached for Renesmee twisting my fingers around her warm body. For Renesmee's age she looked much older, than what she was. To say she was only a day old, she looked more like she was four or five months old. Or even older. She has perfect chocolate curly locks, smooth golden brown eyes and flawless skin. I gazed at her, i gazed at her eyes and how long her black lashers are, how strongly featured she is. And to believe she was created from both me and Edward. Smiling down at her she peeked a glance at me from his long curly lashers, looking at me, smiling back.

"She's Beautiful"-I whispered to Edward-"You're beautiful Renesmee" My voice broke off into tears. I let my eyes close as the tears fell. I felt a small warm hand touch my damp cheek. My eyes shot open at the small electric buzz that flowed through me, as I Renesmee spoke to me. He had rested on my face as her words pressed into my skin, sending the message to my brain.

"I'm not crying because I'm mad darling, I'm crying because I'm happy. There tears of joy" I whispered. Another buzz ran through me as her touch imprinted words across me. i giggled as she explained her bright morning with Edward. How she played with him, had conversation about the big colourful butterfly that dazzled in the light breeze of the air and how just Aunt Alice was forcing animal blood down his thirsty throat. Just when i was around to say something when a knock at the door stopped me. It was Alice. She had a purple and black dress on and a pair of high dark purple heels. She looked even more beautiful than ever.

"Alice why are you all dressed up?" I questioned.

"I'm dressed up because jasper and I are going on a special hunting trip" She answered.

"Then if you're hunting why are you dressed like that?" I asked again.

"Because it's mine and Jasper's anniversary"

"So it's like a date" I frowned, in confusion.

"Yes a dinner date"- She smiled her voice soother than ever.-"Can i take my gorgeous niece away for a little while?" she asked eagerly

"Sure" Edward answered for me.

I handed Renesmee over, her touch leaving a warm sensation on the surface of my skin. I watched as Alice glided away, and i could feel Edward's body close to mine. I twirled around, and he pressed his smooth red lips into the mould of mine. Our lips danced away as his hand slid up the back of my blue tank top. His touch was icy against the warmth of my flesh, but it gave me a flame of fire. Hotter than ever, my brain lost control, flame growing into a burning touch, and before i could stop myself i tore his creamy white shirt off. His pushed me away taking his loving lips away with him. He cringed at the frown I pulled and he knew I never wanted him to stop. He lightly kissed my fore-head and then picked me up, carrying me to the messy bed.

We lay side by side silently, gazing into other eyes. Finally he broke the silence.

"She looks just like you, you know?" He questioned.

"She does not" I defended.

"She does. She's just as beautiful as you Bella. She has the same deep soft eyes and lips, the same chocolate hair. She is just as perfect as you" he replied smiling my favourite crouched smile, His teeth glistening.

"Why would she want to look like me?" I asked, pulling my browns down, peering at myself.

"Because Bella, you are her mother. His fresh and blood. She will have your beauty Bella. You never have believed how elegant you are." His said rolling his eyes. I left it at that. I didn't wanna get into anything of my prettiness. I lay there not reaching his gaze. He tucked my hair behind my right ear, and kissed my cheek, where he moved down to my jaw line. His lips pressed softly against my skin, as his hand gripped my top, ripping it from my chest. His kissed down the side of stomach sending a shiver down my spine. I felt his hand tugging on my old sweats, and I had an urged to tear the rest of his clothes off.

The night sky hung lowly below the dark clouds that tipped clear water down slowly. Renesmee lay soundlessly asleep, in her pink and purple crib, which stood beside me and Edward. I beamed at her at her chest moving rhythmically, the sound of her light snoozers echoing in my ear and the sight of her calm and relaxed. I never knew how right Edward was about me sleeping until Renesmee. She looked so peaceful. I kissed her rosy cheeks and then tucked myself into the silky bed.

"What time is it?" I yawned.

"Its ten o'clock Bella" Edward replied, as he pulled me close to him. I turned around and hugged him. I pressed myself into his perfect statue body. I peeked at him from under my thin lashers , while biting my lip.

"What is it Bella?" he huffed

"It doesn't matter" I shook my head.

"It does Bella, it must matter if it troubling you" He said, roughly

"Edward I'm sure you already know" I replied shyly, biting my lip harder.

"Bella no"

"Edward why not?" I asked miffed

"Bella I wont end your life, not now! " He spoke more strongly, clenching his fists.

"Edward I want to, it's my choi-"My voice broke of as Edward sprang up. I followed his swift movement until my eyes couldn't follow the red line of blur.

"Don't you think you better explain Bella?" A familiar voice spoke.


	9. imprint

**Hey again! the new chapter is up ! Im really really pleading you guys to read my new story : Deep Red Rose Tissue. you can find by looking at my profile and seeing what storie3s i've wrote. Im really pleading because i want to know whether to add the second chapter ! Im begging !**

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"Jacob wh-what ar-are you do-doing" I stuttered jumping up. I grabbed my robe and tightly fixed it around me. I stood there peering at his bronze, muscular half naked body, and before I could stop myself I lurched forward flinging my arms around his waist. He had sure grown as his long strong arms wrapped around my head. A loud grumble let lose my Edward's unbeating chest. Instantly I let go, pushing him away.

"I came to see my child if you don't mind" He retorted with anger roaring through his throat.

"Actually Jacob she is-"

"Where is she?" he cut me off mid sentence pushing me aside. Edward jumped in between Renesmee's cot, and Jacob's fire breathing body.

"Move it blood sucker" He spat, staring Edward in the deep golden eyes. Their eyes were full of rage and fear.

"I will not do that Jacob" Edward spoke calmly despite the fury that was reflecting of the surface of his topaz eyes.

"She's my child, so move it blood sucker" he spoke more aggressive as he walked forward in a fearful way.

"That's what I need to tell you Jacob" I murmured, looking down.

"What is it Bella?" he asked annoyed, almost sounding desperate.

"She's not yours Jacob"

"What do you mean, she's not mine"? He questioned looking so confused.

"Err, before we did... me and Edward shared a moment that we never remembered, as the memory was eased until I was just about to get rid of her." I said, smiling at the thought of how beautiful she is. Edward's chest was irrupted with another roar of outrage that sprang through his whole body.

"Chill bloody, you shouldn't be in my head" Jacob returned.

"Keep your thoughts to yourself then" Edward spoke, with growl.

"Well at least I'm off the hook then" Jacob sighed in relief.

"Actually you're not"

"What do you mean, Bella?" Jacob again asked confused by my reaction.

"Even if she was yours I wouldn't have let you see her, or touch her" I hissed.

"What..?" His mouth fell open.

"You were never there for me the whole time while she was in me, while I was carrying her inside of me. You never spoke when you and Billy were round watching the game!" I hissed with even more fury that I had hoped for.

"And? He was never there when I last checked" He spat back.

"I believe I was"-Edward slipped his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him-"you see I never left Bella, even though it seemed like I was gone. I couldn't leave her no matter how much she has damaged me, i couldn't leave her again"

"You make me sick, Bella" Jacob retorted, wrinkling his perfect nose in disgust.

"What?" I raised my voice?

"You heard me! You make me really sick; you're so devoted in this, and why? For what? To become a blood sucker like him" He questioned me, eyeing Edward like he wasn't real. I stood there in shock, stunned how this conversation had taken a different turn.

" It has nothing to do with you, what I do with my life, so just butt out" I barked-"if you don't mind I need to see to my child, now she is awake" I raced to her crib, where her eyes reflected fear in them. I gripped her tightly in my arms, and rocked her gently. She rested her soft hands on my red cheek, and a quick electric buzz rushed in me.

"No sweetie, it's all ok, promise" I whispered, kissing her tiny hand. Her hand left mine and she tried to peek over my arm, to see who was hiding. I twirled around to give her a look, and then she hid under her long cute locks. Her hands pressed in my again and her visions spoke softly.

"That's Jacob, honey" I introduced. Her vision showed me her words. I gritted my teeth as she spoke, as what she wanted I didn't want to give. But with a sweet 'please' I couldn't resist.

"Jacob, Renesmee wants you to hold her" i spoke, trying to keep my voice steady. Edward muscles tightened as I let Jacob take her out of my hold. I felt lost without her in my arms, there with his sweet like Edward scent and her shiny shimming locks. I folded my arms and watched Jacob cradle her in his long muscular tanned arms; while biting my pinkish lips. I watched his face turn into a smile as she spoke to him. I wished I could know what about, only Edward could. He relaxed his arms around my waist again, but his strength was stronger than normal. He was mad. Edward hissed, and roared when Jacobs head snapped up.

"What?" I lightly spoke.

"Ask Him" Edward barked, through gritted teeth.

"Jacob?" i asked with confusion written over the lines on my forehead.

"I...I...err you see"-Jacob began struggling for words-"I Bella have...err...I seemed to have... imprinted on Renesmee"


	10. Kiss Me GoodBye

**_Special Message_**

**Hey everyone. So this is the final chapter in this story. WHAT? i know what you guys are thinking. but yes this is the final chapter. I have decided if this chapter gets good feed back to creat a series of this book. So review and i might continue. I thank everyone who has read this story! **

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"What?" Edward snapped, his voice sounding powerfully angry (Like a freshly lit fire)

"Bella I'm-"Jacob swallowed hard as he tried to get his words into place-"I'm sorry" His word faded with shame.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Bella...I seem to have err yeah...Bella I Love Renesmee!" his head dropped as the last words echoed around the hollow room. My head spun, wildly as the oxygen tried to find its way to my brain. My body urged forward snatching Renesmee from Jacob's grip.

"You have IMPRINTED on MY DAUGHTER" I gasp, as the words fixed into place.

"Bella I'm-"

"Jacob... Don't give me that...Please" I cut Him off.

"Bella Honestly I didn't mean too"

"Jacob, you have imprinted on my daughter... how can you not mean too." I asked my voice hurt.

"I don't know she is..." he left his words open. My mind wondered in and out as more sank into to me, biting me. My heart fluttered as I pictured her in his muscular arms, tightly fixed to his chest. Her long brunet hair tangled in his hands and her eyes fixed on to his deep loving eyes.

A hand touched my skin, burning as a current raced through my thin veins. I flinched as the beautiful heart breaking vision faded and reality struck. Her eyes were lost in thought as I turned to her in my arms.

"No sweetie, you cannot" I answered her, my voice sounding off edge. Her touch froze me as another current pushed through me. Edward stood behind me, and as Renesmee's words spoke, he slid his hands around my waist, pulling me to him.

"Renesmee, no you can't" I answered again. Edward's fingers flexed into a fist which were shaking. Renesmee squirmed around reaching for Jacob.

"Bella let her go" Edward whispered as my struggled to Renesmee in a tight hold. I gazed at Edward confused unsure what his words mean.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Let her go to Jacob, Bella" He said again, with a harsh tone. I dropped my eyes from his, where the fell to Renesmee. I watched her struggle and reach for Jacob. Did she already know what imprint mean? Did she know that Jacob is never goanna let her go? Never goanna leave her? I gazed at her. Her long cute curly brunet locks, bouncing about, her deep soft chocolate eyes dancing around the room, and her small breakable body battle her way towards Jacob.

My vision started to blur as water peeked around rushing down my cheek. Renesmee's body was still and the room fell silent as my sobs rang. I felt a soft, marble like hand wash over my face as a small hand reached at my cheek. I peered down and Renesmee, her eyes were full with pain that was over followed by small salty tears. I lightly kissed her warmish forehead and stumbled towards Jacob. I reached him, with open arms, as Edward followed with his hand still fixed at my waist.

"I love you Renesmee"-I sobbed-"We love you" Me and Edward spoke softly. I stroked her long locks, and kissed her again. Jacob's arms were already open, making a comfy pillow, as I lay Renesmee in his hold.

"So what does this mean" Jacob asked a little confused.

"You have her Jacob. She belongs to you" Edward said, her voice breaking with sorrow.

"Oh..."

"Take Care of her please" I pleaded.

"I will do Bella. You have my word" Jacob reassured me. He stepped back and twirled around. He evenly strolled away and left me and Edward alone, empty handed, and in pain.

"Why?" I asked as tears boiled over my waterline. A curtain of silence filled the air, as Edward's face turned hard. I waited my hands crossed around my chest, feeling the emptiness that was gone.

"Why? Edward? Why, why, why?" I grieved, pushing Edward back. He stumbled back, not even trying to hold me back, to hold my fists that punched into his solid chest.

"Because Bella, he loves her and you know that" He said sombre.

"You hate him Edward!"-I pushed him back with a full blown of might. He landed on the bed, i stood over him, the water pouring down my cheek and landing on him-"YOU HATE HIM! YOU HATE HIM HATE HIM" screeched. I shoved him back again, but this time he clenched my arm tightly. I tugged it, tried to unfold his fingers from my throbbing arm. My power wasn't enough. He pulled me on to his lap, I tired to restrain but his strength was too much against mine. I lay grieving on his chest that seemed as empty as mine. The sound of no heartbeat racing unevenly made my tears fall faster, and no sound of his breathing soothing me, made my heart stutter and fall in a deep black hole.

Hours past but it felt like months, possible years. The night was beginning to unfold into a bleak motionless morning. The sun hid behind the grey tinted clouds as the rain reflected my tears. The blue sky hung low and spun as I traced the toned blue above me. My eyes were red, dry and sore. My skin felt damp and I felt sick. Lonely. I felt like pieces of glass have been screwed into heart, making the blood run my veins, draining the life from me. Silence swan around the big but small room as I lifted myself up. I dragged my feet to where my stack of comfy clothes lay and started to stuff like in my back pack.

"Bella what are you doing" Edward question, with a puzzled face. I didn't respond. I couldn't get my words to escape my lips, and I was really mad at him. I wanted him to just disappear.

"Bella?" He asked again. He shifted up, in blur and before i could react he had a hold on me. his hand gripped my face forcing me to face. I attempted to turn away, I was disgusted with him. I could not face his beautiful face. He held me there in his stare.

"Bella don't be mad please" He voice suddenly became soft and comforting.

"Edward I'm not mad I'm furious" I spat.

"Bella she will be fine, I promise"-he began, kissing my hair-"Bella she is safe I've read Alice's mind, she will grow up loving him. She is made for him Bella"

"Edward I don't understand this" I said, confusion blowing through my brain.

"I do not like Jacob but Renesmee does. She loves him. I want her to be happy" He whispered. I let his words play about in my mind, fixing themselves into place like jig-saw.

"Edward, I love you but you should have confirmed it with me. She is my child too" I protest.

"Well Bella what can I do to make it up to you?" He asked. I thought for a long moment. I glared back into his almost dark soft brown eyes and traced my glare down his beautiful perfect face. I traced every feature. His flawless skin, his perfect dark pink lips, his beautiful deep meaningful eyes. He was like a god. Someone, something that didn't belong to this world.

"I want to become a vampire"


	11. MESSAGE MUST READ !

_**Special massage**_

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**Hey (:**

**So yes it's been a while since I have been on here... I will agree. But I have been extremely busy with school work, and I've been ill, so that left me unable to write and be on here. It's been about a month or even more since I have been on here and I apologize.**

**So i decided last time I uploaded something that I would make my story 'Kiss me goodbye' into a series... and many wasn't impressed with the way I ended it! And I won't apologize... because that's how I wanted it to end.**

**So I spent a while deciding on how to write this story into a series... and i finally did! sooo here is the first chapter to the new story I just wrote .**

**It's called ' Beautiful life'**

**I really hope you guys will enjoy like you did with 'Kiss me goodbye'**

**Thank you!:)**


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